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Fall Leaves

I distinctly remember receiving an email my freshman year that changed the way I thought about myself.  I was sitting in my freshman dorm, Peddrew-Yates, diligently scrolling through an email of an older student. I made my way to the bottom of the email, saw her name and underneath it, a list of every single organization she was a part of and every position she had on campus. It was almost as if the list was symbolically propping her name up to mean more to me.

Over the course of the next two years of my time at Virginia Tech I spent an inconceivable amount of time getting my hands on just about every organization that screamed “leadership” and “importance” on campus in my eyes. Within hours of receiving acceptance emails or phone calls, I would return to my dorm, open my Gmail account and add the shiny, new title underneath my name.

I wish I could tell you that the growing list gave me what I deeply desired. I wish I could tell you it fulfilled me. I wish I could tell you it finally gave me the security I was longing for.

I believe what we are all looking for in life is a community of individuals who will see us for who we are, all of the beauty, strengths, insecurities and fear, and love us anyways.

For me, adding to my Gmail signature meant that I was adding to my importance and worth on this campus. It was confirming that I was loved. I was attempting to measure my value by the number of lines of text underneath my name. I was missing that my value as individual, and as a Hokie, was never intended to be found in the organizations I was involved in.

I deleted my email signature a year ago. After several years, I learned the painful lesson that trying to validate your own value will only leave you tired and searching for more.

I believe that if we operate from a place of knowing that we are inherently valuable, we will have the courage to find the communities we are meant to be in. When I started to realize that my value is not something I can earn, but something I already possess, was when I found myself thriving in my communities and relationships at Virginia Tech.

Hadley is a senior at Virginia Tech who hails from Richmond, Virginia and is currently studying Marketing Management in the Pamplin College of Business. Almost the entirety of her collegiate career has been spent giving back to the Hokie community. Getting involved with The Big Event, Hokie Ambassadors, Class Programs, and her own sorority Alpha Delta Pi (just to name a few), Hadley uses what little time she does have left working as a second shooter for a wedding photographer. Hadley’s top five strengths are Woo, Communication, Positivity, Activator, and Maximizer.